Monday, February 12, 2007

Cuckold Humiliation or Not?

The discussion of humiliation of a cuckold is legion in size and complexity mainly because NO two people are the same. It is therefore again, necessary to discuss with the cuckold what his wants, needs, and desires are. One might find that where the other participants, including the Dom/Domme thought that ALL cuckolds wish to be humiliated and are bisexual in nature, is a vastly mistaken assumption.

Some cuckolds do wish to fulfill their bisexual fantasy and be used to provide clean-up duties on their partner and on the other male/female participants. Some wish to also provide “fluffer” (taken from the porn industry where potential porn stars suck the male participants to a level of hardness so that they can perform in front of the camera) duties for anyone chosen to have sex with their cuckoldress. Some wish to be verbally humiliated by being referred to by their partner, their Dom/Domme, or other male and female participants who will use their partner for sex, as “wimp, cocksucker, tiny dick, incompetent, inadequate, cum-sucker, butt-fucker, etc” and the list goes on and on. Some wish to also be used by their cuckoldress or Dom to be taken anally, to suck anyone that the Dom specifies, to provide ANY sexual act asked for, as well as provide cleaning, shaving, dressing, and transport for their cuckoldress (and thus, to some, their Domme) to and from use by her lovers or her Master/Mistress. Others will desire and indeed, need to have their sexual access restricted, not only to their partner but to all other forms of sexual gratification including masturbation. “Cock Cages” are most often used for this humiliation.

However, some cuckolds simply wish to watch their cuckoldress being used, and to actually ‘join in’ and help provide more sex for her (in the form of providing their cock for oral pleasure from her while she is being serviced by her lover(s) or Dom) and some desire to simply photograph her in the throes of sexual enjoyment with whomever is using her sexually at any given time.

So again, there is no ‘hard and fast’ rule here. The competent Dom, and indeed the cuckold couple, should consider all of these as possibilities and come jointly to a conclusion about the participation level and access to each other, their partner or cuckoldress/cuckold or their Dom/Domme.

Do NOT forget that the Dom/Domme also has wants, needs, and desires and these MUST also be addressed and added to the mix. If communication, true communication, is established, then you will have a successful relationship to build on for ALL participants. Just be totally and completely honest in your discussions and negotiation with each other and you can’t lose. And remember, based on the 20 years plus real life experience I have had, it is not only your right to have this discussion with your partner AND your Dom/Domme, if it is not provided you may well have the wrong partner and/or the wrong Dom/Domme. Without everyone knowing what they are doing is what they all mutually wish to be done by having open honest communication with each other, the relationship is on quicksand to start with and will ultimately fail.

Thank you for reading, and don’t forget to pass on this blog to anyone you think it may help. I can also be contacted via email on sir.strict@gmail.com I also exclusively use Yahoo Messenger as an offline chat client. Email Me with your messenger nick if you wish to be added to My list of contacts for chat.

Sir.Strict

Cuckoldress Humiliation or not?

I can’t count the number of times I have been asked by a cuckoldress or a potential one if humiliation is a natural part of the Dom/sub Dom/cuckoldress cuckold/cuckoldress lifestyle. My answer is always the same which states “If you wish it to be, then yes it is. If, however, you wish it NOT to be, then that is where it should go.”

There is a mistaken belief in the cuckold community that EVERY cuckoldress wishes to be humiliated as well. The reality is that some do, some don’t, and if you as a Dom or Domme, or a cuckold for that matter, don’t find out which it is with your particular sub/slave/partner, then your relationship is off to a bad start to begin with. I say that it is a mistaken belief, and I stand by that statement, after training true cuckoldress women and slut females (and males) who want to expand their own sexual horizons, and bring their partner along for the ride.

Some women LOVE humiliation and see it not only as something they desire, but something that is an integral part and a necessity of their own cuckold lifestyle. Possibly it is because some also feel - based on early religious beliefs - that it is the ‘punishment’ they must have for enjoying sex with others than their marital partner. Some simply love the feeling of being humiliated (verbally – as is being called names such as slut, bitch, whore, cum-bucket, cum-slut, or anything else their partner or Dom desire to call her) while others want a more ‘public’ display of their humiliation (being forced to wear sluttish or revealing clothing in public, or being made to perform sexually with others present, or being ‘shared’ with others at her Dom’s command, etc). There are NO hard and fast rules here just as there aren’t in ANY relationship. Each one is different and based entirely on the individuals involved.

Other women have NO desire to be humiliated in ANY sense. They most often see their open sexuality as something to be proud of, something to show to the world, something to use to enhance the pleasure of their Dom or cuckold partner. It can also be simply because they enjoy sex in most, if not all, the ways possible to enjoy it, and don’t feel that they need to be humiliated in any way to achieve that level of enjoyment for themselves or their partners.

So again, it is imperative that ALL of the participants in a cuckold relationship need to engage in open minded, no holes barred, honest participatory discussion, and state what they need from this different relationship. It is, after all, very different from what society tells us we are all supposed to be like. We should all be proud of what we have and enjoy it to the full, be it total humiliation or simply being the best sexual partner (for your cuckold or your Dom/Domme) possible.

Thank you for reading and if you wish to contact Me email Me at sir.strict@gmail.com or ask Me to add you to My yahoo messenger list of contacts by providing Me with your screen name there.

And please pass this on to anyone you think could benefit from the advice contained herein. Thank you.

Sir.Strict

Negotiation

In a cuckold relationship those with little or no real life experience think that there is no real negotiation either between the cuckoldress and her cuckold, or between either/both of them and a good Dom. Noting that I said “a good Dom”, and based on 20 years plus real life experience in this lifestyle, nothing could be farther from the truth.

Communication is the keystone to any successful relationship, be it vanilla, cuckold, Dom/sub, or any other combination one can think of. When any relationship is in it’s infancy it is imperative that meaningful and honest communication between participants and potential participants takes place to ensure that everyone is on the same page, or, at least know what page each participant is on. The same holds true in any cuckold relationship as well, and a competent Dom needs to assess what the couple (or cuckoldress or cuckold) are/is looking for to enhance their own existence. If (and this can be a VERY BIG IF) the wants, needs, and desires of all of the participants mesh in some meaningful way, then ALL will be happy with the outcome. If they don’t at least you know from the start that it isn’t what you want.

Thus, I cannot stress enough the necessity to discuss with any submissive/slave cuckoldress/cuckold couple what their particular desires, wants, needs, and wishes are. You may well find that they, in some ways, mirror those of a vanilla relationship – with the added spice that this particular kind of relationship can bring.

If you are a Dom or Domme, sit your submissive/slave cuckoldress/cuckold individual or couple down and discuss with them openly what they want the relationship to be and what they see as their own role to fulfill their own desires is. Also don’t be afraid to state openly what YOU need as well from the relationship. Then, and ONLY then, will you know if you have the basis to continue on with a good, well planned, well thought out relationship which will be to everyone’s benefit and enjoyment.

If you are a cuckoldress or a cuckold, the same advice applies. Ask your Dom/Domme or partner to discuss with you exactly what your relationship should contain and not contain to ensure it is built on solid ground and will last. It is your right to know where everyone stands so ask for this consultation. If it is not freely given, you have the wrong Dom/Domme or the wrong partner.

This may be and sound blunt, and it is – purposefully so. It is based on a lot of real life experience over a lot of years, not fantasy, and though it may not be what you “wish” it were, I can assure you it is the truth as I have lived it. Ignore it at your own peril.

I shall write more to explain aspects of the cuckoldress and cuckold “wish list” that many may not have considered, and yet are prime necessities to those involved. Thank you for reading and please, pass on this site to any you think could benefit from it.

Sir.Strict