More Varied Questions

Hello and welcome back to My blog.

I have been asked to comment on a few issues by various people and would like to do so now.

A) ATLcuck asked Me to try to explain for his partner "what's in it for the cuck?" In effect I take it that the question is "If someone is married to or in a stable relationship with, a female partner, why and how do they achieve happiness from the knowledge that their female partner is having sex with others?”

This may be a difficult concept for many to understand, and I fully acknowledge that. Also please understand I am only giving ONE point of view on this subject. There are as many reasons and other points of view as there are male cuckolds, all of which have their own view and all of which are, for them and their partners, equally valid.

My experience has shown Me that the males involved with their partners in this lifestyle are usually highly sexual individuals, thinking about sex, wanting sex, and wanting all those around them to want as much sex as they do, literally all the time. In such cases, the male may "mentally" or "emotionally" enlist the aid of their partner in the fulfilment of this "fantasy" and this way of life. The act of having sex with someone other than one's spouse can, for instance:

a) be a fulfilment of the "partner in total sexual enjoyment" thought pattern.

b) be seen to be "naughty" and thus of immense sexual turn-on for some.

c) be seen to be providing for one's partner, out of pure love and honour, the amount or duration or passionate sexual encounter that they themselves, either trough medical reasons such as size of their penis, or physical deformity or condition, or the result of side effects from medications necessarily taken because of heart disease or coronary artery disease or diabetes, etc. etc. etc. are unable to provide.

d) and yes, though in very rare cases, be a fulfilment of the mistaken belief that "all women want it as much if not more than males do" so she is going to go find it anyway...

Please note: the last thought above is a VERY small minority of people, but it does exist and I would be dishonest to state otherwise. Also note that there appear, from My own experience, to be more of those in category c above than any other category.

“How do you know if d above is how your partner thinks and feels?”

Step one is to ask them. Remember, in this lifestyle, as in all other lifestyles, from totally "vanilla" lifestyles to the most debauched lifestyle of the old Roman Caesars such as Caligula, open, honest, and complete communication between BOTH participants is paramount to ensuring that this, or any other lifestyle, does not do damage to your relationship but rather adds to it.

So, what does the cuckold get from knowing that his partner is having sex with others? It may simply be a desire to provide good and frequent sex for their partner, when they themselves are unable to for a myriad of reasons. That is more often the reason than any other that I have encountered.

Remember one other thing: If you feel that sex is there ONLY for procreation then I suggest that this lifestyle is not for you. If you believe, however, that almost any avenue of pleasure for yourself as well as your partner is a good thing and hopefully is part of your own lifestyle, then this lifestyle may simply add that 'extra' to your lovemaking.

And, as I have stated previously, some cuckolds hold or harbour latent bi-sexual tendencies and wish to explore those as well, WITH their opposite present at all times to ensure it is a "shared" experience.

B) aaron69nj suggest that we look at unconventional (single rather than married) couples and their practice of this lifestyle.

The single couple joining in the cuckold mix, definitely does exist, and probably more often than one assumes.

It may prove to be simply a way for a man and woman to enjoy sexual encounters themselves with their partner present and with their approval, rather than something that is potentially damaging their relationship by hiding it away from their partner.

It may also help to determine if their 'partner' can "keep up with them" in their enjoyment of sex or not before making a complete commitment to that individual.

And, like others, it may simply be a hedonistic way to experience pleasure, both in a heterosexual and, for some homosexual or bisexual way.

What ever the reasons behind the single couple involving themselves in this lifestyle, their involvement is as valid as any other participants and their reasons are equally valid for themselves as well.

Friends, though I have said this before, I cannot emphasise enough the absolute necessity for open honest communication between ANY couple who find themselves contemplating joining this wonderful exciting vibrant lifestyle. Keep that communication open always, and free flowing between the participants and the couple can do naught but enjoy their experience in the cuckold way of life.

Couple that with:

1) common sense - if something about others doesn't feel right, get away from as quickly as possible, and

2) ALWAYS ensure that you are not, nor putting your partner, at risk from STD infection, and you will enjoy your participation in this lifestyle as you do in any other.

C) I have also been asked if there are cases of "cuckold couples in reverse", i.e., the male has sexual liaisons with other females while the female becomes the cuckold, with the same duties as a male cuckold would have.

The short answer is yes, but relatively few. I feel this to actually be unfortunate, simply because when it is practiced this way, normally ONLY the male knows what is going on, and it is sometimes years (if ever) before they are honest enough with their female partners to disclose this truth; that they have sex with other women (or males).

Our society classes that type of behaviour as the "straying spouse" and we all acknowledge that that is much more prevalent in our society than any other form of "other" sexual encounter. Indeed, it was the basis in history for the origination of this as a ‘lifestyle’. Only when the two partners communicate completely, openly, and honestly with each other however will they find real compatibility.

And a final note: If you wish to explore this but are afraid that your partner will leave you if you are honest with them, ensure you have a good, well recommended, professional sexual or psychological councillor (possibly even a marriage councillor) present to ensure that no "ruptures" take place in your relationship but that adequate measure are in place to ensure that communication rather than accusation and dissociation takes place.

Again, thank you for your time and I hope you return. If you have question you yourself would like to ask, please do not hesitate to contact Me. And please pass on the web address of this blog to anyone you feel might benefit from reading it.

Stay safe, sane, and concentual always.

Sir Strict - THE Cuckold Dom

A Few Random Questions and Answers

Hello Dear Reader

This post will try to cover a few different subjects. I hope you find something of interest here. If you wish to contact Me, feel free to email Me at sir.strict@gmail.com with your questions or ideas.

Q 1. Are all cuckolds bisexual?

A 1. Not at all. Many are, and many are not. It is entirely a choice of the individual cuckold weather he is bisexual or not. He may be totally heterosexual and simply wish his partner to have more sexual gratification than he himself can provide. He may also be heterosexual and may find that he and his partner ONLY have sex with other couples (more like swinging than a true cuckold relationship). He may also find that he is bisexual, and enjoys not only ensuring that his partner has sex with other men, but also enjoys having sex with the same, or other men as well.

As in every other lifestyle there is, the cuckold lifestyle varies from participant to participant. There are no 'hard and fast rules' in this lifestyle any more than there are in any other lifestyle.

Some men may also desire humiliation as part of their cuckolding experience and again, that is easily provided by a competent Dom or Domme.


Q 2. How is Humiliation defined and do all cuckolds require humiliation?

A 2. Humiliation is, one might say, "in the eye of the beholder". In other words, being made to stay at home and wait for his partners return, and then listen to her explanation and description of her exploits with other men, may be the humiliation he requires.

It may also be being made to clean, shave, dress, and apply makeup to his female partner to ready her for use by her Master/lover/lovers.

Also, being called to not only do those things, but also to provide what are known as "fluffer" duties for any prospective lover his partner may have, as well as being called upon to lick and suck clean any deposits left in his partners various holes by her lovers, and/or being required to suck clean her lovers cocks after they have used his partner, may also be termed 'humiliation' by many.

Others will find that they will also provide anal sex for any of his partners lovers who are a) desirous of it and b) are possibly 'waiting in line' as it were. Obviously the necessity to adhere to cleanliness issues is also of paramount importance always.
So, yet again, the definition of humiliation will vary from individual to individual.

Is humiliation required by all cuckolds? No, not all, but the majority will wish for one form or another of the above. It plays a large part of the modern cuckold’s involvement and enjoyment to be humiliated in one form or another and it should be noted that if the couple has a Dominant as well, then these matters should be discussed with that all three participants to assure mutually satisfying ends.


Q 3. Why can't a couple simply do this on their own without the necessity of a Cuckold Dominant?

A 3. Indeed, for many, it can. However many also enjoy the fact that the Dominant will:

a) find suitable lovers for the female partner to have sexual relations with

b) ensure that proper medical certification guaranteeing a lack of STD in those sexual partners, and that it is evident and current and

c) ensure that both members of the couple are protected from harm of any sort.

The choice to have or not to have a Dominant is entirely up to the couple to make for themselves. If they are fortunate enough to find a competent Dominant who will satisfy all their needs for sexual fulfilment, their experience will be enhanced and trouble free.


Q 5. Are all cuckolds wimps?

A 5. Not at all. Many cuckolds are indeed very strong and Macho males in many respects. Remember, sexual inadequacy may be the result of physical deformities and medically induced inability to maintain erection (as a result of some heart and high blood pressure medications as well as some diabetic medications, and cancer treatments in some cases). Many cuckold males simply wish to find a safe way to provide the sexual gratification for their partners that they themselves are unable to provide.

Q 6. Aren't all cuckolding females’ sluts and whores and those who find them other lovers, simply pimps?

A 6. Nothing could be farther from the truth. The female member of a cuckold couple is not normally someone who will charge money for her sexual favours to begin with. Thus the term "whore", which is defined as a prostitute who charges money for sexual activity, certainly doesn’t apply in this case.

The term "slut" is historically used by other women, who point to another woman who has had either:

a) opportunity they themselves have not had, or

b) the courage to try various sexual activities and lifestyles, which they find themselves incapable of doing.

Therefore, looked at in that light, the term "slut" is actually one to be proud of and not something to be ashamed of. It denotes courage, forthrightness, honesty, and an ability to go out and get exactly what one wishes rather than sit and decry the fact that it "can't be done" and try to make oneself feel better by finger-pointing.

I hope you have found something of interest here. I will post more multiple questions and answers soon. Thank you for reading and remember, if you have a specific question or desire help in any way, do not hesitate to contact Me here or at cuckold.dom@gmail.com

Sir.Strict - THE Cuckold Dom

Explanations re: This Cuckold Dom

Hello

Because of email I have received in response to this blog, I feel it necessary to state a few things about Myself and My own situation to hopefully lessen the chance of misunderstanding.

First of all, I am located on the Gold Coast of the Australian state of Queensland, a subtropical place I have chosen to retire to because of it's good weather, plentiful tropical and sub-tropical fruit and vegetables as well as good quality beef, pork, lamb, and seafood of every description.

Secondly, I am not an Australian, but rather an American who has chosen to live here. America may be for some, but not this Old One. I grew up there, served in the US Military, got an education there and then left as I could determine where that country was headed and didn't wish to be part of the ride.

Lastly, this blog is based on My own involvement in the cuckold lifestyle over 27 years. I would be the last one to state that the way I view, and even participate, in this lifestyle is certainly not the ONLY way it should be viewed. The participants in this lifestyle vary as widely as they do in any lifestyle. Look at those you see on your street or in your workplace. Do they all look/dress/act/believe/think the same way as you do? Of course not. They do those things as suits their own circumstance and/or personality.

Thus, the cuckold lifestyle varies greatly as well. It varies from a couple who wish to try multiple partners on the one extreme, to a Threesome comprised of:

1. a female desirous of not only every form of sexual gratification she can have but also of control in her life and her activities by a sexual Dominant other than her husband, including being corporally disciplined by that Dominant when she wishes to experience that form of caring by her Master,

2. a male who wishes to also be under the complete control of a sexual Dominant, and who wishes to expand his bisexual desires and thus not only perform maintenance duties on his female partner (bathing, shaving, dressing, etc) but also wishes to be dominated in every aspect of his involvement in the sexual activity of his female partner, to the point of providing not only transport to and from her Master, but also "fluffer" duties when call on to do so and "cleanup" duties on his female partner AND her other sexual partners as well. For those who wish further explanation of those terms - "fluffer" duties means sucking male cocks to sufficient hardness and length to allow them to have intercourse with their female partner, while "cleanup" duties consists of sucking the ejaculate from any place her male sexual partners have left it as well as sucking their cocks clean after they have had sexual relations with the female. He may also be called on to provide his anus for those who wish to use it as well as any other duties the Dominant wishes him to have. Note: this normally also fulfills a strong "humiliation" desire of the cuckold male.

3. a Sexual Dominant (either male or female) who will take total control of both members of the cuckold couple and their sexual activity.

I hope this is of help in understanding this blog and this lifestyle. I am alwys ready and happy to receive email from anyone about this blog.

May you be well, happy, and safe at all times.

The Cuckold Dom

The many and varied roles of a Cuckold Dom

If you have reached this point I hope that means that you have had time to read the other posts I have made here and that you find them informative.

As My profile states, I have been involved in the cuckold lifestyel as a Cuckold Dom for just over 27 years and find it stimulating, both mentally and sexually, and always a challenge.

The basic role of a cuckold Dom is to provide, for the cuckold female partner, any and all sexual partners who have been found to be:
a) disease free
b) not a nut case
c) equipped with not only good and functioning sexual equipment but also with knowledge in how to use it to give maximum pleasure to her
d) training for the cuckold female partner to expand and develop her sexual properties with as many and any varied sexual partners, both male and female
e) training for any cuckold who wishes to learn the vaguries of service to his partner but also wishes to learn from their cuckold Dom how to take care of his wife so that she can be presented in a way that is pleasing and also in a way to give her the most sexual gratification possible, as well as maintain what ever other directives the cuckold Dom may give him.

The cuckold Dominant also has the obligation, first and foremost, to provide sexual enjoyment for the female of the couple, but in a safe, sane, and concentual way.

Finding suitable male sexual partners for her can, believe it or not, be a chore in itself. However, it is not impossible if one sticks to their standards of cleanliness necessitated in the new sexual partner. Also, providing training for the female and the male can, at times become a time consuming and difficult task. However, if one is to be and to become a true sexual Dominant these duties may not be ignored. This lifestyle is NOT all about the sexual Dominant but rather about the satisfaction of the couple.

In many instances, Myself included, the sexual Dominant will not have intercourse with the cuckold woman at all. That type of Dominant takes pleasure from providing what the couple themselves need and watching them grow in knowledge and in sexual awareness. This type of Dominant may participate or allow the couple to participate in oral sex with Him for gratification though not always. It depends on the individuals and on the relationship and "contract" they have developed with each other and with their chosen sexual Dominant.

Mo9re on this in a later post. Than you for reading this blog and please pass it on to anyone you feel might benefit from it and it's explanations.

THE Cuckold Dom

The Role of a woman with a cuckold partner

Throughout history if a woman desired more good sex than she received from her partner she either did without it, or she took courage in hand and sought it elsewhere. That didn’t mean she ended her marriage or arrangement with her partner but it did mean that, from societies point of view, she “cheated” on her partner. Even in our western music we have instances of this happening and if one remembers the song by Kenny Rogers titled “Ruby, Don’t Take Your Love To Town” one remembers that the singer (the male partner) is a returned war veteran with a disability, and is thus unable to provide his partner with the sexual fulfillment she needs.

However, unlike that song, the woman in that position who finds herself with a partner who not only shares her concern for sexual fulfillment, but wishes to help her find fulfillment elsewhere, has a cuckold for a partner/husband and thus enters into a cuckold relationship.

Many in this type of relationship go looking for sexual fulfillment in all the wrong ways and all the wrong places, and thus both partners end up being dissatisfied with the outcome. Yes, she will be getting all the sexual activity she desires, but possibly not from the people or types of people she desires, and certainly seldom safely. Her partner will seldom be totally satisfied in his cuckold desires either and may find himself unable or unhappy with the way he is able to fulfill or not fulfill his part in the arrangement.

Thus, the woman needs, first and foremost, to explore various possibilities, including sex with known friends, sex with strangers but in a safe environment, sex with strangers in unsafe environments, and sex under the control of a strong Dominant (either male or female). She may also find that sex with another female will suffice and provide the entire sexual fulfillment she desires.

The important thing to remember about a sexually liberated woman who seeks more sexual fulfillment than she presently has, is can she find it in a safe, sane, and consensual environment on her own, or does she feel it wise to allow a Dominant to assist her to find her sexual fulfillment or not. She also must realise that not only sexual intercourse will provide what she desires, and may find that sex in ways that her partner denies her, or does poorly, is what she needs (oral, anal, manipulative sexual release). Her partner will normally encourage her in any attempt to find sexual fulfillment and enjoyment. Indeed, in those who have found their mutual enjoyment enhanced, many have found that a sexual Dominant, who takes both the male and female partners of a cuckold relationship under His/Her wing, is the answer that best serves their needs and desires, as the Dominant fulfills many roles, including procurer of safe sexual partners (for both the male and female cuckold partners) as well as the responsibility of ensuring that both partners desires are basically met.

As always, if you have questions about this lifestyle, ask them and let Me try to find you a suitable answer. My 27 years of involvement in this lifestyle and the D/s lifestyle is there to give council.

The Cuckold Dom

What is the role of a cuckold?

First of all let's look at some definitions. The Online Encyclopaedia called Wikipedia describes a cuckold as follows: "A cuckold (or cuck) is a married man whose wife has sex with other men. In current usage it sometimes refers to non-married couples in committed relationships as well, although the traditional meaning is a man whose wife is adulterous."

The article, found at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuckold, goes on to say that "The earliest written use of the Middle English derivation, “cokewold” occurs in 1250." Therefore this is not something new, and many, many people throughout the ages have willingly participated in this lifestyle for many years.
The article also correctly states that "A man who knows and acquiesced, in his wife’s taking of another lover was called a “wittol” itself a derivation from the Middle English for “willing (as in knowing) cuckold.” For our purposes, the term cuckold will suffice. Therefore, though originally a cuckold was considered to be a man who had a partner who had sexual relations with other men while he remained unaware of her "infidelity" so to speak, in today’s usage the male cuckold is often the instigator of sexual relations between his partner and others.
The reasons for this are many and varied and it would be inappropriate to try and state them all here. However, one important point should be made here: suffice it to say that the male does NOT love his partner less because of her sexual exploits. In fact he could be said to love her MORE, in that he is willing to share her so that she can, unencumbered by sexual mores of society, or the fear that he will leave the marriage because of her needs, enjoy her own sexual needs and ensure they are met.
Usually there are various reasons (often physical) that he finds that he is incapable of providing all of the sexual enjoyment that his partner rightfully deserves. It may be that medication he takes for various conditions (heart disease, high blood pressure, and diabetes to name but a few) have caused him to be unable to raise, or to maintain, an erection for long enough to achieve an orgasm for his partner. He may also have a physical “under-endowment” in relation to size, girth, or length that his partner requires to reach her orgasm.
Most have tried and still do use oral sex as a way of satisfying their partners, but that too can become boring after a while. Many cuckold males also find that they either are bisexual or at least are also bi-curious, and thus the thought of watching another male have intercourse or any sexual activity of any kind with his partner is exciting. He may also harbour desires to suck the ejaculate from his partners various holes (as a bisexual submissive humiliation act) and also may desire to suck clean any males penis that have penetrated his partner.

Most males in this situation at first fear that their partner will shun them totally, and/or that the sexual Dominant will exclude him from further contact with his partner and thus damage the relationship he presently has with his partner. If the sexual Dominant is a capable and knowledgeable Dominant, they would never ever allow the couple to separate because of the situation they find themselves in. The Dominant is NOT there to wreck homes nor relationships (this will be explained further in another post).

Therefore, assuming that the cuckold couple are in agreement on the issue of her being sexually fulfilled by a strong knowledgeable Dominant, the role of the cuckold is to bath, wash, clean, and shave his partner, and generally prepare her for his and her Dominants use sexually. A cuckold may be required to transport the female to her Dominant and retrieve her when called to do so. He may also be either required to leave while the sexual liaison between the female and her Dominant takes place, or, may be required to accompany the female and simply stand or sit and watch as she is used sexually by her Dominant. This is, of course, an act that adds to the “humiliation” aspect of a cuckold existence and is wanted by many cuckolds.

Some cuckolds will also be required (and enjoy being asked) to provide "fluffer" duties when told to (sucking male penises to erection) and may also be required to provide "cleanup" duties, which may entail sucking the ejaculate from his female partners various orifices, and/or sucking any male penis clean that has finished using her for their mutual sexual pleasure.
Thus, some (not all, but a majority actually) will freely admit to being bisexual or at least bi-curious and having that fantasy fulfilled as well as seeing or hearing or being told of his partners sexual activity with her lover(s).

The cuckold also should be allowed to have access to the sexual Dominant for guidance, control, and/or to ask any question about their relationship that he wishes to ask. A competent Dominant will always keep the male cuckold safe from harm and will answer any questions he may have at any time, or at a specified question time. The level of submission and humiliation will differ from individual to individual and should be worked out between the sexual Dominant and the cuckold through communication.
Thus, in essence, the cuckold is trying to do two things: a) provide his female partner with any and all sexual gratification that she requires or desires.
b) fulfil a fantasy of domination by a sexual Dominant, of both his partner and himself.

Again, if you have any questions feel free to write Me at cuckold.dom@gmail.com and I will attempt to answer them directly or in this blog.

CuckoldDom

Hello and Welcome

Hello. Thank you for stopping by.

This blog will no doubt not suit all who come across it, but it is something I feel is necessary for the help of others. I am an older Cuckold Dom, which means that I am a Dominant Male, retired, who has had two cuckold couples under His wing for various times (4 years and 7 years to be exact) and who now finds Himself with time to devote to the education process about the cuckold lifestyle.

If you are offended by talk of a male who not only allows, but encourages his partner to have sex with other males and females, and who himself desires to be a bisexual submissive under the guidance and control of a Dominant Male who will assist the couple to find happiness, safely, sanely, and with good humor, then this blog is NOT for you.

I intend over time to pass on wisdom and indeed, training, that I have found in this lifestyle and instruction of how a Cuckold Dom should treat his couple, as well as what each member of the couple should expect and work towards in their relationship with their Dominant.

I should start by saying that the Dominant can be Male or Female. In My case I am a Male Dominant and I can really only speak from that perspective.

If you decide to continue reading this blog as I post to it, you will find the philosophy I have used when in control of a competent couple who wish to expand their relationship in this manner. I am not saying that what I suggest in this blog is the ONLY way things should be done - far from it. Each relationship is different from each other relationship simply because each individual is different. Their wants, needs, and desires may differ immensley and thus each Dom/Domme-couple relationship will differ as well.

Having said that I will try to impart My reasoning and thought process of how I have handled the two couples I have owned in the past (yes, it is a form of ownership and yes, it applies to both the male and the female member of the couple), and indeed, how I would handle any in the future. At the moment I have released the last couple I had so I am indeed, without a suitable cuckold couple to have as My own.

Definitions:
A cuckold couple is a couple (normally male and female) wherein the female is encouraged by her partner to seek sexual gratification from other males. This may be because of any of the following reasons:
a) the male has a very small cock and thus feels that he can never fulfill the wants, needs, and desires of his female partner.
b) the male, through medication for heart conditions or possibly even diabeties, has found that he no longer can raise an erection and thus wishes his partner to find sexual gratification elsewhere.
c) the male may wish to feel mild forms of humiliation in that his partner is finding other males to satisfy her, and the feeling of humiliation is a sexual turnon to that male.
d) the male may be (even closeted) bisexual and wish to have his partner under the sexual control of other men, and also wishes for himself to be under the same sexual control.
e) the male simply feels that other males fucking his wife/partner is a tremendous sexual turnon for him.

1) the female finds that she cannot achieve orgasm because her partners sexual equipment is either not large enough, is not able to remain hard for long enough for her to orgasm, and/or her partner orgasms too quickly for her to achieve her own orgasm.

2) she always has had various sexual partners and wishes to continue that practice even though she is now married to someone.
3) she wishes to be under the sexual control of a Strong Dominant Male or Female, and thus be that Dominant's sexual submissive.
4) she wishes to humiliate her partner as she knows it is something that excites her partner and thus will submit to a Dominant's demands and control.

If you find that ANY of the above relate to yourself, you are a prime candidate to becoming a sexual submissive to a Strong Dominant and thus, if you are in a relationship that is of long standing (marriage for instance) you are part the way there to becoming a cuckold partner.

Note: to make this work, BOTH the male and female partners need to be in agreement about their sexual future and activity. They need to discuss the reamifications of entering this lifestyle - and NO - this lifestyle does NOT mean that the couple separates. They will both, in ideal circumstance, be submissive to the same Dominant Master and thus join forces to enhance their sexual enjoyment.

That's more than enough to get this started. I look forward to having you read this post often. If you wish to contact Me you may do so at cuckold.dom@gmail.com. You are also invited to comment on this blog, but ONLY those comments of a helpful or enlightening nature will be allowed to remain. If you have a question about the lifestyle, ask, and I will try to answer it to the best of My ability.

In the mean time, be safe, well, and happy, and greetings from the Gold Coast of Queensland, Australia.

CuckoldDom